December 13, 2017

Strange and Unexplainable Things

Q: Nature does some strange and unexplainable things. I read where in 1877, Memphis, Tennessee experienced a rain of snakes that measured in length from between 12 and 18 inches. On September 4, 1886, three separate showers of polished stones fell on Charleston, South Carolina. And in 1893, a yellow-tinged cloud passing over Paderborn, Germany, released a shower of living pond mussels. Can you explain these phenomena? A: Right around this time, lobotomies were becoming a popular form of therapy and a vice for some doctors. Of course, in the Southern states, it was explained as voluntary experimental psychosurgery. Q:…

Ban the Bar Stool

Dear Frankly, I am single, don’t want to be. I lack the two major cornerstones to change: the confidence to approach women, and the opportunities to meet them. I’m 25, reasonably good looking, intelligent and not entirely lacking in charm. In all other aspects of life I don’t lack confidence, but when it comes to women, I become a weak kneed wuss. I can’t even get off my stool at the bar to approach them. Can you suggest anything to help me? Weak Kneed Wuss Dear Weak, I met my third husband at a bar. It was love at fourth…

Crop Circles and Little People

Q: I understand that a small farm recently had crop circles discovered in the corn field. Investigators do not believe, based on their field work, that the Lawton formation was mechanically made by people. While more people went to investigate the phenomenon, it was destroyed by a young female neighbor who drove through the field with her truck and did donuts. She told one neighbor she thought one of the aliens got her pregnant. Could this be true? A: Sure. Women impregnated by aliens commonly crave strange foods and demonstrate rare forms of morning sickness. Often, donuts are involved. Q:…

Let’s Go Tasting

One thing I’ve mostly avoided in the almost five years of writing this column is being a simple wine critic that gives you a list of wines complete with my personal opinion and some arbitrary number score. I myself am a critic of the critics, as many times I don’t feel they do justice to the wine world since each critic comes with a full set of biases on what they like and don’t like, and simply telling you wines they enjoy without admitting their bias faults doesn’t help you if your palate differs from theirs. That being said, reviews…