December 11, 2019

Horoscopes for February 17-23, 2013

CAPRICORN (January 19 – February 16)

What used to seem like an outrageous idea to you will start to seem rather reasonable this month. Wearing stripes with plaid is your new fashion statement.

AQUARIUS (February 16 – March 11)

You’re one cuddly bundle of very cute energy this month. It’s Valentine’s month. Just remember to wait for the appropriate time to unleash that energy, cutie pie.

PISCES (March 20 – April 18)

You should share your open-mindedness and new point of view with someone who thinks the way you think. Be patient, it’s slim pickin’s for those types.

ARIES (April 18 – May 13)

It’s February and you have picked out the person you want to be your Valentine. Now all that is left is to convince them to let you past their security guards.

TAURUS (May 13 – June 21)

Someone you’ve grown to trust over the years tries to influence you without much subtlety. It’s time to put aside your moral compass and take the money and run.

GEMINI (June 21 – July 20)

This month, stars show a nice breathing course or yoga session or swim will help bring you back down to earth. It will also give you a serious case of pneumonia.

CANCER (July 20 – August 10)

You need to convince your sweetie to try something new, but you need to appeal to their mind and not their emotions. No holding your breath until you turn blue.

LEO (August 10 – September 16)

This February, you need to learn to be flexible with an obstinate person–especially one that’s twice your size, carries a blackjack and goes by the name Bosco.

VIRGO (September 16 – October 30)

Treat yourself to something really nice sometime this month, whether or not you think you deserve it. It may be the only Valentine gift you will receive this year.

LIBRA (October 30 – November 23)

You need to finally get rid of all that clutter making your loved ones wonder about your mental health. Remember, leftovers are only good refrigerated for three days.

SCORPIO (November 23 – November 29)

It’s okay to be a little paranoid every now and then, but a Howard Hughes you’re not. The surgical mask, gloves and shoe covers are going to freak people out.

OPHIUCHUS (November 29 – December 17)

To impress others, you’ll watch a foreign sports event, listen to ethnic music and eat at an exotic restaurant. Soccer, reggae and Taco Bell are not world experiences.

SAGITTARIUS (December 17 – January 20)

This month, romance, love, kisses, more love and more romance–that’s what’s  mostly on your mind. Unfortunately, it’s not on the mind of anyone around you.

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