July 20, 2019

Horoscopes for October 7-13, 2012

CAPRICORN (January 19 – February 16)

Your karma bank account will be overdrawn. It’s time you made a deposit. If not, you may become a subject in the book, “When Your Karma Turns To Cacca.”

AQUARIUS (February 16 – March 11)

You always count on “your guides” as you navigate through life. This month, you’ll discover that their compasses are busted and you are, like, totally lost.

PISCES (March 20 – April 18)

There are a lot of facts and figures simmering in your head, which could explain why you misplaced your keys, but not why you forgot to get dressed. Yikes!

ARIES (April 18 – May 13)

You feel good. You look great. You are splendid. There’s nothing that isn’t going exactly your way! That only happens on the first day of the month. Then…crap!

TAURUS (May 13 – June21)

You’ll want to take a trip, but lack the finances. So, you’ll decide to take a walk, but just don’t have the energy. Oh well, back to the couch and the television. Aahhh.

GEMINI (June 21 – July 20)

You’ll be given an opportunity to step into someone else’s shoes and see how they feel. Like them, you’ll feel like a very bad bowler with your mind in the gutter.

CANCER (July 20 – August 10)

A surprise cancellation will open up a big block of time that is free for you to use in any way you see fit – it’s called a pink slip. Not a good color choice for Cancers.

LEO (August 10 – September 16)

You will find it true that opposites attract this month. So keep your eyes out for something or someone really, really positive. And, if you find it, don’t let go.

VIRGO (September 16 – October 30)

If you feel as though you’re backed into a corner this month, focus on finding an escape route. Zig and zag. Duck and run. Don’t let that Wiley Coyote getcha.

LIBRA (October 30 – November 23)

This month you will realize that while a demonstration may be worth a thousand words, it would have been better to rant and rave than to lower the pants and moon.

SCORPIO (November 23 – November 29)

Should you share your piece of chocolate or should you keep it all for yourself and eat it in the corner before anybody sees you? Hey, it worked for Little Jack Horner.

OPHIUCHUS (November 29 – December 17)

Relationships are on your mind, making it a perfect time to be your own best friend. It may be the only friend you have. It also may be good time to get a pet.

SAGITTARIUS (December 17 – January 20)

This month, you may change your position on controversial issues or political debates, but it isn’t a sign of waffling or weakness. Or is it? Maybe, maybe not.

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