September 18, 2018

Aging and Death

cur-mudg-eon (cur-muj”un), n. [origin unknown] 1. archaic: a crusty, ill-tempered, churlish old man. 2. modern: anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner.

“First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.”
— George Burns

“So my choice is ‘or death.'”
— Eddie Izzard

“I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.”
— Emo Phillips

“I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.”
— Woody Allen

“It’s funny how most people love the dead.¬†Once you’re dead, you’re made for life.”
— Jimi Hendrix

“I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything till noon. That’s when it’s time for my nap.”
— Bob Hope

“They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I’m going to miss mine by just a few days.”
— Garrison Kielor

“My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.”
— Rita Rudner

“I do wish I could tell you my age but it’s impossible. It keeps changing all the time.”
— Greer Garson

“My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?”
— Margaret Smith

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