March 22, 2019

Baseball

cur-mudg-eon (cur-muj’un), n. [origin unknown] 1. archaic: a crusty, ill-tempered, churlish old man. 2. modern: anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner.

“After being traded and retraded by the Red Sox to the White Sox and back, I find that every five years a man has to change his Sox.”
— Steve Lyons

“Baseball is a game which consists of tapping a ball with a piece of wood, then running like a lunatic.”
— H. J. Dutiel

“Baseball is the only game left for people. To play basketball, you have to be 7 feet 6 inches. To play football, you have to be the same width.”
— Bill Veeck

“Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the pitch?”
— Jim Bouton

“Baseball without fans is like Jayne Mansfield without a sweater. Hang on, that can be taken two ways.”
— Richard Nixon

“The key to winning baseball games is pitching, fundamentals and three-run homers.”
— Earl Weaver

“There’s three things you can do in a baseball game–you can win, you can lose, or it can rain.”
— Charles “Casey” Stengel

“When you win you eat better, sleep better and your beer tastes better. And your wife looks like Gina Lollobrigida.”
— Johnny Pesky

“You have only two hemispheres in your brain–a left and a right side. The left side controls the right side of your body and the right controls the left half. It’s a fact. Therefore, left-handers are the only people in their right minds.”
— Bill “The Spaceman” Lee

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