Marriage
cur-mudg-eon (cur-muj’un), n. [origin unknown] 1. archaic: a crusty, ill-tempered, churlish old man. 2. modern: anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner.
“The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.”
— Al Bundy
“I hate work. That’s why I got married.”
— Peg Bundy
“If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.”
— Johnny Carson
“The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.”
— S. T. Coleridge
“Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give.”
— Cass Daley
“Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.”
— Benjamin Franklin
“If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.”
— Katharine Hepburn
“I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”
— Sam Kinison
“Politics doesn’t make strange bedfellows, marriage does.”
— Groucho Marx
“To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.”
— Ogden Nash
“Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you finish saying it.”
— Helen Roland
