December 17, 2018

Double DUI

DOUBLE DUI NEWS: Rhode Island State Police said a husband and wife both face charges of driving under the influence after they were stopped separately on the same night. A woman was stopped and detained for wreckless driving and then held after proving to be under the influence of alcohol. Her husband was arrested later for the same charge while driving to get her.

POLYGAMY, ORIENTAL STYLE NEWS: Chinese authorities have arrested a legislator found to have four wives. A district official in the northern province of Shanxi said Li Junwen also had 10 children, and had been detained on suspicion of document forgery. Bigamy is a criminal offense in China, while rules restrict most couples to just one child. Evidently, the missionaries from the Mormon Church have been more successful than initially believed.

PUMP UP THE VOLUME NEWS: A Florida motorist on a five-year quest to crank up Justin Timberlake tunes on his way to work won the blessing of the Florida Supreme Court. In a unanimous ruling, the court affirmed a pair of lower-court opinions that a 2007 state law prohibiting loud music while driving violated the U.S. Constitution’s First Amendment, which guarantees freedom of expression. In protest, neighbors of the motorist, most of them seniors and evangelicals, are retaliating by updating their car stereos and blasting Pat Boone’s version of A Closer Walk With Thee.

NUMB BREASTS NEWS: Spanish police arrested a Panamanian woman who landed in Barcelona from Bogota, Colombia with cocaine stuffed inside her breast implants. The woman was taken to the police at Barcelona’s El Prat airport after her vague answers to questions about the reasons for her trip from Bogota raised suspicion at the border control. When police discovered fresh scars and blood-stained gauze on the woman’s chest she was taken to a nearby hospital. That’s when they found 1.38 kg of cocaine in the implants, making them the most valuable implants in the world.

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