August 16, 2017

The Pros and Cons of Napping

HEALTH STUDY NEWS: In the largest study to date on the health effects of napping, researchers tracked 23,681 healthy Greek adults for an average of about six years. Those who napped at least three times weekly for about half an hour had a 37 percent lower risk of dying from heart attacks or other heart problems than those who did not nap. Of course, those found napping while driving ran a far greater risk of dying from an automobile accident.

RECORD BREAKING NEWS: More than 6,000 couples kissed simultaneously at midnight one Saturday in the Philippines with organizers of the event claiming to have set a new world record. Representatives from the World Health Organization said that following Monday, there was a simultaneous outbreak of a world record number of social diseases, followed by a world record number of divorce filings.

PRANKSTER NEWS: According to local police, two teenage girls from Trenton, New Jersey, posted a fake announcement on their school district’s website that said school was closed for the day due to winter weather. The girls confessed to posting the false information and, as punishment, they were given a three-day suspension. That ought to teach them a lesson.

SINGING & DRIVING NEWS: About 40 tons of cow intestines and bones spilled onto a major highway recently in Sheboygan, Wisconsin, after a truck driver became distracted by his digital music player and his semitrailer tipped over, officials said. The driver said rumors of his being impaired were a load of crap.

EXCENTRIC SURVEY NEWS: A recent political poll revealed that 4 out of 5 Verde Valley residents would be more likely to vote for someone they had never heard of over any incumbent, unless he or she was a lawyer, doctor or salesperson of any kind.

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