April 17, 2024

Side Effects

PRESCRIPTION NEWS: People suffering from chronic headaches, nausea, diarrhea, gas or dizziness may finally find relief in a medical cure-all. The only drawbacks of the new pill, available only by prescription, are the side effects: headaches, nausea, diarrhea, gas or dizziness.

LAW ENFORCEMENT NEWS: A thirty-year-old Arizona lottery winner has been convicted of a felony and sentenced to 10 years in state prison or 1 day a week for 70 years.

ENTREPRENEURIAL NEWS: Due to the fact that their machines only accept quarters, coin-operated laundries, car washes and amusement devices in Utah were forced to raise prices from $1.25 to $1.50 after being imposed with a 6 cent increase in sales taxes. After a period of time elapsed and in response to complaints, state legislators rescinded the tax increase. However, because of the costs to adjust and readjust their machines and expected rises in property taxes, overhead costs, utility prices and inflation, the owners will be leaving the machines at the new higher prices.

TELEVISION NEWS: Last month’s viewer ratings have been announced, and every station has reported an increase in its share of the viewing public.

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