Dogs
“The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.”
— Anonymous
“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.”
— Ann Landers
“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.”
— Will Rogers
“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.”
— Ben Williams
“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.”
— Josh Billings
“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”
— Andy Rooney
“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.”
— Rita Rudner
“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.”
— Robert Benchley
“Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.”
— Franklin P. Jones
“If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise.”
— Unknown
“My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.”
— Joe Weinstein
“Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul — chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!”
— Anne Tyle
“Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman.”
— Dave Miliman
“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.”
— Mark Twain
“You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!”
— Dave Barry
“Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.”
— Roger Caras
“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.”
— Phil Pastoret
“My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.”
— Unknown
