Laws of the Universe
- Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you’ll have
to pee. - Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
- Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
- Law of the Telephone: Dial a wrong number; you never get a busy signal.
- Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
- Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
- Law of the Bath: When fully immersed in water, the doorbell will ring.
- Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t
want to be seen with. - Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will. Also works with funny car
sounds. - Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
- Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
- Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will
last until the coffee is cold. - Law of Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly
correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. - Wilson’s Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
