June 27, 2017

Wal-Mart Wine


Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item: Wal-Mart’s own brand of wine. The world’s largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of Modesto, California to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2-5 range.

While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wine into their shopping carts, there is a market for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I. She said, “The right name is important.” So, here goes:

The top 12 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine:

12. Chateau Traileur Parc
11. White Trashfindel
10. Big Red Gulp
9. Grape Expectations
8. Domaine Wal-Mart “Merde du Pays”
7. NASCARbernet
6. Chef Boyardeaux
5. Peanut Noir
4. Chateau des Moines
3. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vinegar!
2. World Championship Riesling

And, the Number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine …

1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with white meat (possum) and red meat (squirrel).

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