June 20, 2019

Causes of Sudden Pole Shifting

Q: Scientists have found evidence that the Earth might have flipped over in the past, completely shifting the orientation of its poles. The theory has been around for years that a large mountain range or supervolcano might unbalance the spinning Earth. The theory, known as true polar wander, postulates that if an object of sufficient weight ever formed far from the equator, the force of the planet’s rotation would gradually pull the heavy object away from the Earth’s axis. Could this have really happened?

A: Yes. It happened millions of years ago, when man replaced dinosaurs and more recently when conservatives replaced liberals in Congress.


 

Q: I read where an eminent scientist and UFO researcher was about to state publicly that reptilian beings exist and that they may have been here for thousands of years until he was run down by a drunk driver. That would certainly have rocked the ufology boat and made waves in the scientific community. Is it possible that alien reptiles have been on Earth since its beginning and they were the ancient gods some people prayed to?

A: I hope not. I backed my car over a lizard the other day. I’d hate to think his family has the power to screw up my life in retaliation. And my poor cat!


 

Q: Creepy, unnerving, threatening, sinister, even inhuman. These are words used to describe people some have encountered who share an odd trait: unnaturally black eyes. Black eyed people. Black eyed kids. Who are they? Are they dangerous?

A: Yes, they are dangerous. I dated a woman with black eyes once, and after we broke up she TP’d my yard, stalked me, went through my garbage and I think she was behind all the penis enlargement emails.


 

Q: I understand Sedona has a number of psychics, fortune tellers, channels, soothsayers and prognosticators. I heard some preferred methods of divination there are cartomancy, or reading playing cards, and scrying, predicting the future with crystals. Are you familiar with these?

A: But of course. Just the other day I was playing poker with some friends of mine and one of them predicted I would lose my shirt. I also lost my pants, shoes, socks and underwear. Who could have known? As far as the scrying, I think there is a New Age band called the Crying Scryers.


 

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