April 17, 2024

Did Edison Design or Build a Ghost Machine?

Q: Thomas Edison said, “I don’t claim that our personalities pass on to another existence or sphere. I don’t claim anything because I don’t know anything about the subject. For that matter, no human being knows. But I do claim that it is possible to construct an apparatus which will be so delicate that if there are personalities in another existence or sphere who wish to get in touch with us in this existence or sphere, the apparatus will at least give them a better opportunity to express themselves than the tilting tables and raps and Ouija boards and mediums and the other crude methods now purported to be the only means of communication.” Did he ever design or build a ghost machine?

A: No. He didn’t stand a ghost of a chance.


Q: At 2,500 miles off the coast of Chile, there is an island that is one of the world’s most remote places inhabited by people. Up to 1,000 years ago, the islanders started putting giant red hats on the statues. The research team, from the University of Manchester and University College London, think the hats were rolled down from an ancient volcano. Each hat, weighing several tons, was carved from volcanic rock. They were placed on the heads of the famous statues all around the coast of the island. However, precisely how and why the hats were attached is unknown. What do you think?

A: Beats me. Maybe the giant statues represent an ancient group of Shriners. I’d look for evidence of tiny car statues.


Q: An Egyptian carving was left outside the Egyptian embassy in Berlin, a while ago with a note explaining its mysterious contents. In the note, the man said he felt obliged to return the carving to allow the soul of his late stepfather, who had stolen the piece while visiting Egypt in 2004, to rest in peace. On his return to Germany, the man’s stepfather suffered paralysis, nausea, unexplained fevers and cancer before dying recently. Do you know of any similar curses?

A: Nope. I’ve only heard of the garden variety plague and pox curses.


Q: I had a real spooky dream recently. While on a hunting trip with my friends, we encounter Sasquatch. Instead of running away, it ran towards us. I think we were mauled because I could see red everywhere. I woke up in a cold sweat. Has anyone written you of a dream like mine?

A: Like, no. That’s like looking down the other side of the barrel, huh?


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