August 3, 2020

The Ghost of Christmas Future

Q: I’ve been thinking lately about the Ghosts of Christmas and their effect on Ebenezer Scrooge from Dicken’s tale. If the Ghost of Christmas Future were to come today, would the story he would be telling be to corporate CEOs who raided their companies and left people homeless or unemployed? I wonder what kind of ghost would visit former President Bush, Jr. It appears as though these people aren’t concerned with their afterlife. What do you think?

A: I hadn’t given it much thought. But, now that you have broached the subject, I can imagine the CEO’s being shown a life without corporate jets, summer homes and trophy wives. As far as Junior, I see a future sans speaking engagements, an enlightened former spouse and grandchildren tossing Texas-sized lawn darts at him at the Fourth of July barbecue.


 

Q: I read where a physician from San Francisco claims that Barack Obama is the reincarnation of Lyman Trumbull, an Illinois Democratic senator and the principal author of the Thirteenth Amendment, which put an end to slavery in the US. Still another Illinois Senator is being compared with Mr. Obama – Abraham Lincoln, a first term Senator to be elected President of the United States and close friend to Mr. Trumbull. Is this all coincidence or could Dr. Semkiw be onto something?

A: I don’t know. I do believe that a lot of bubbas would refute the notion of transracial reincarnation, unless, of course, it was a black man later becoming a white man. That would make sense.


 

Q: One night while sleeping over at my grandmother’s house in the middle of nowhere in Cornville, Arizona, I couldn’t stay asleep as I was awakened by a tapping sound coming from under the bed. As I was a young lad, I was too afraid to see what was causing the noise. Then, while looking out the window from my bed, I saw an illuminated figure walk across the window sill on the outside. Could I have had a close encounter?

A: Maybe you had a wayward toy under the bed and freaked out so much you mistook a passing headlight for an alien. You were a scaredy pants.


 

Q: Are you always this curt with people who seek your advice? It seems to me that you needed to be hugged more as a child. Were you fed from a bottle or you mother’s breast?

A: I was breast fed, but I think it was spoiled.


 

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