October 14, 2019

Many Names for Large Hairy Ape-like Creatures

Q: Large, hairy ape-like creatures have been reported in every state of the U.S. In the Pacific Northwest, it’s called Sasquatch. In places like Ohio, it’s known as Bigfoot. But in Florida and a few other Southern states, the tall, upright walking hominid is called the Skunk Ape. A highly credible sighting of the Skunk Ape was reported in 2004. It was crouching in a ditch, but as the observer slowed her car to see it better, the creature stood to its full six to eight-foot height. Do you believe these creatures exist?

A: Really tall, really hairy guys that stink. I believe they exist, I’m just not sure they don’t have day jobs or weren’t once professional athletes.


 

Q: A family was vacationing on a rented houseboat on the picturesque Okanagan Lake in British Columbia when they spotted a long, writhing shape in the water. They video taped about 15 minutes of footage, part of which shows a long dark hump rising above the lake’s surface. He estimated the creature to be about 45 feet long. Is this like the Loch Ness monster?

A: Who knows? It could be that this family had a wee dram too much of the same ale the Nessie spotters had.


 

Q: I heard that residents of the volcanic island province of East New Britain in Papua, New Guinea claimed to have sighted a grey-skinned, nine-foot-tall dinosaur-like creature with a head like a dog and a tail like a crocodile, and as fat as a 900 litre water tank. They said it lived in a marsh near the the provincial capital, Kokopo. The local mayor sent out a police force with M-16s and shotguns. No trace of the creature was found. Could this be a living dinosaur from our prehistoric past?

A: Anything’s possible. Wasn’t New Guinea the location for Jurassic Park?


 

Q: A miracle took place in St. Mark’s Coptic Orthodox Church near Cleveland, Ohio this year. Church members reported that an icon of the Virgin Mary on the altar began weeping an oily substance. A priest who has been at the parish for more than 30 years called the phenomenon a sign from God. Back in 1990, an icon of Jesus appeared to be weeping. Are these events really miracles?

A: How should I know? Maybe the statues want out of Cleveland. Or, maybe the leak that was repaired didn’t hold. Or, maybe they’re miracles.


 

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