April 17, 2024

Monsters You Wouldn’t Want to Meet

Q: I read an article about monsters you wouldn’t want to meet. They included Mothman, The Loveland Lizard, The Jersey Devil, Popobawa, The Dover Demon and Bunyips. I’m embarrassed to say that excepting The Jersey Devil (the hockey mascot) and Mothman (a movie with Richard Gere), I haven’t a clue about the other monsters. If they are for real, tell me where they roam, so I can avoid them. Are there others not mentioned above?

A: The Dover Demon is an alleged cryptozoological creature sighted in Dover, MA, while Mothman is a creature reportedly seen in the Charleston and Point Pleasant areas of WV and the Jersey Devil is, of course in South NJ. The Loveland Lizard is a cryptid of Loveland, OH and Popobawa, is an evil spirit believed to have first appeared on the Tanzanian island of Pemba. My personal favorite, the Bunyip, or Kianpraty, is a creature said to lurk in swamps, billabongs, creeks, river beds and water holes of Australia. Other monsters to avoid would be everyone saying, “Trust me, it’s good for you.”


Q: I don’t know what’s creepier, me and my mom seeing a man in Wal-Mart with backward knees and black eyes or following a government cat with two creepy guys with melted faces in the front seats. We told my dad about the guy with black eyes but he just dismissed us. When we spotted the car with the strange men one day while leaving Wal-Mart, he suggested we stop shopping there. Where are we supposed to shop?

A: The black eyed guy might have small eyeballs and dilated pupils, or they might have been gills like from the movie, Men In Black. As far as the creepy, melting, government guys, they probably worked for the IRS.


Q: I heard where some guy used “spiritual remote viewing” system to invest the money he collected with foreign currency traders, who would act according to his psychic disclosures and is now being sued by the S.E.C. The self-proclaimed psychic and his wife declared their innocence and insisted the S.E.C. investigators came to CA to visit Disneyland and eat In And Out Burgers. What do you believe to be the truth in this case?

A: I lost forty bucks with this guy’s predictions. Who should I believe?


Q: Is it true a woman in New Zealand is selling what she claims are two troublesome exorcised ghosts of an old man and the other a young girl, now in bottles, on an Internet auction website? Say it isn’t so.

A: It isn’t so. They were sold! My bottled spirits are just whiskey and rye.


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