April 21, 2024

Strange Rusty Powder Found on Cars

Q: I heard about a strange rusty powder that appeared on cars in the Chicago area recently. Angelo Mavaraganes, who runs a car repair shop, said he has seen it on at least 30 cars. Cars at the police parking lot at Belmont and Western have the rusty powder all over them, too. NBC 5’s Mary Ann Ahern said a lot of people in Chicago want to know what the stuff is that has fallen all over their cars. What do you think caused these occurrences?

A: I believe someone from the Windy City bought some of our vortex energy in a car and unleashed it on the citizens of Chicago. Rust in peace.

Q: I heard where TV psychic Sylvia Browne made a major mistake about the West Virginia miners tragedy on a recent radio show. First she announced live that they would be found, then later, after 12 sadly did not make it, she responded saying none would be found alive. She was wrong twice on the same show. This woman charges up to $700 for a reading over the phone. Is this just another case of mistaken prophecy or is she a charlatan?

A: Hard to tell. Some people probably possess some kind of psychic abilities above and beyond the norm, but every now and then you run into a popular person that turns out just to be a good guesser, I guess.

Q: A group of astronomers has discovered an asteroid nearly a quarter mile wide that they think might slam into the earth 30 years from now and are urging immediate action by governments around the world to start planning programs to avert that happening. The group is made up of people who are experts in near Earth objects, for which they make the acronym NEO. What do you think about that?

A: Wasn’t NEO the name of the hero in The Matrix? I hear that the government has a secret program designed to gather all the cows in the world in one location, feed them flatulence creating foods and head for the hills. The combined weight of the bovine and their expulsion should move the Earth just enough to avoid the collision.

Q: Ever heard that early explorers thought manatees were mermaids?

A: That probably took a lot of grog and a long time at sea without women. But then, Columbus thought he discovered a land where people were waiting on shore to greet him.

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