October 14, 2019

Aunt Edna’s Best Rum Cookies Ever!

Excentric World continues its long-running tradition of publishing the recipe for Aunt Edna’s Best Rum Cookies Ever in its original form. It was first printed in 1991. Each year, it is rewritten in near its original form.

Here’s what you’ll need:

1 or 2 quarts rum
1 stick butter
1 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 cup dried fruit
1/4 cup chopped nuts
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. lemon juice

Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring spoons and cup, mixer and ungreased cookie sheet, etc. Preheat oven to 325. Check the rum again–it must be just right. To be sure the rum is of the very finest quality; pour 1 level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Rinse and repeat.

With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large, fluffy bowl. Add 1 round teaspoon sugar and beat some more, again. Meanwhile, go back and make sure the rum is of the absolute finest quality. Try another cup. Open second quart if necessary  Add 2 large eggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat up high. If druit gets stuck in beaters, just pry it loose with a spoon. Sample the rum again, checking close for tonsicistricy. Nest, shift 3 cups of pepper or salt (it really doesn’t matter) and sample wum more some. Shift pint of lemon juice. Fold up chopped butter and strain your nuts. Add 1 babblespoom brown thugar or whatever color’s handy. Wix mell. Grease oven and turn cookie sheep down to 305 degrees. Now dump the whole mess on cookie sheep, toss it right into the oven and ake. Check wum again and then bo to ged.

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