April 16, 2024

Horoscopes for April 27-May 3, 2014

CAPRICORN (January 19 – February 16)

Don’t dwell on obstacles this month. Organize a picnic or a hostile takeover. Better yet, do both. Occupy a park and dominate the neighbors, ants and squirrels.

AQUARIUS (February 16 – March 11)

You will find yourself needing to allow some space for natural growth and evolution. You may have to add a couple of notches to your belt or switch to sweats.

PISCES (March 20 – April 18)

Be sure not to stick ideas you come up with this month in the bottom drawer of your desk and forget them, or they’ll be like the old gum under the middle drawer.

ARIES (April 18 – May 13)

You might think you know all the answers right now, but try to refrain from being too dogmatic in your advice. Instead, try some of that catmatic advice stuff.

TAURUS (May 13 – June21)

For Taurus in April, it’s not about finding the answers, as much as it is about asking the questions, like who, what, when, where, why and mostly – are you serious?

GEMINI (June 21 – July 20)

This month, you are practical and romantic, plus serious when need be and lighthearted. In fact, all of your personalities will have a chance to show themselves.

CANCER (July 20 – August 10)

There’s nothing wrong with frivolity, but you need to feed your mind with more intellectual pursuits in April. Reruns of The Rocky and Bullwinkle show will do.

LEO (August 10 – September 16)

This month, you might find yourself surrounded by a somewhat flakey group of individuals. Don’t worry, Easter will be over soon and your family will go home.

VIRGO (September 16 – October 30)

You may be having some serious anti-romance feelings. Be sure to set aside some time for yourself. If that doesn’t make you feel romantic, then nothing will.

LIBRA (October 30 – November 23)

You are ready for absolutely nothing — anything and anyone can overwhelm you right now, so it’s a very good month to stay in bed with the covers over your head.

SCORPIO (November 23 – November 29)

When your moon and stars are aligned or something, you encounter a situation you aren’t prepared for, going by the seat of your pants. Then your zipper gets stuck.

OPHIUCHUS (November 29 – December 17)

This month, you may overlook the fact that some ideas and behaviors are just plain wrong. It’s okay, next month you’ll sober up and have forgotten all about it.

SAGITTARIUS (December 17 – January 20)

Nobody’s perfect, and Lord knows, you have your moments of vanity, insecurity and so forth and so on. With a big fat emphasis on the so forth and so on stuff.

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