March 28, 2024

Horoscopes for February 23-March 1, 2014

CAPRICORN (January 19 – February 16)

February is emotional and weird which, means your family is involved. Bring your friends into the mix and you can add strange and border line illegal.

AQUARIUS (February 16 – March 11)

You start the month off on the right foot, with a deep sense of what you want. But you’re not thinking – you’re left footed. No Dancing With The Stars for you.

PISCES (March 20 – April 18)

You’ll be dreaming big and setting the tone for the weeks to come. You’ll be radiant. You’ll be impressive. You’ll brighten the lives of others. Then you’ll wake up.

ARIES (April 18 – May 13)

You may have many more questions than answers this month, but who likes a know-it-all anyway? It’s better to be dumb and popular than smart and ignored.

TAURUS (May 13 – June21)

This month, you need to remind yourself of the power of honest communication. After all, the line of bull you’ve been using lately hasn’t gotten you anywhere.

GEMINI (June 21 – July 20)

You need to follow the impulse to spend your way out of problems this month. Retail therapy always works for you – followed by refund therapy the next month.

CANCER (July 20 – August 10)

You get your energy from other people. You’ll feel kinda drained in February, since you’ll be spending most of it home alone searching for matching socks.

LEO (August 10 – September 16)

You’ ll be feeling rather contemplative, thinking about your past, present and future. The past was wasted, today’s a waste and you’ll get wasted in the future.

VIRGO (September 16 – October 30)

February kicks off in the presence of friends and loved ones. Yell, “fresh squeezed mimosas” and they come running. Now if you can figure how to get them to leave.

LIBRA (October 30 – November 23)

You’ll need to schedule a little more social time this month. Valentine’s Day will come and go and not leave you satisfied. You can only eat so many hearts.

SCORPIO (November 23 – November 29)

In February, you’ll find yourself in a questionable place for flirting your little heart out. Snapping towels in the locker room at the golf club could be dangerous.

OPHIUCHUS (November 29 – December 17)

This month, you will do something spontaneous that will surprise the folks around you. In fact, they’ll be so surprised that question your very existence. Whoa.

SAGITTARIUS (December 17 – January 20)

You will have the sense that you’re on the edge of a discovery, that you’re ready for a new kind of internal freedom. Take Beano now and there will be no gas later.

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