April 17, 2024

Horoscopes for July 27-August 2, 2014

CAPRICORN (January 19 – February 16)
This month, your imagination, dreams and fantasies will provide other people with entertainment. Little did anyone know what a comedian you can be.

AQUARIUS (February 16 – March 11)
You are in super great shape on the extremely the whole month of July. Look for really good news and lots of wet, sloppy kisses. Somebody’s getting a puppy!

PISCES (March 20 – April 18)
You’re better off kicking back and observing than trying to make things happen in July. If you can eavesdrop a bit, you’ll learn what they really think about you.

ARIES (April 18 – May 13)
You will be going some fun places — ball games, camping or taking an adventure all month. You can only use the “bad rash” excuse from work so many times.

TAURUS (May 13 – June 21)
You’ll find yourself in a very lucky kind of place. It’s called a casino. Whatever you do, stay away from the roulette table. Red and black are just not your colors.

GEMINI (June 21 – July 20)
You’re in a very high achieving kind of place and looking very cool. Remember to head down the mountain before it gets dark this time. Mountain climber, my eye.

CANCER (July 20 – August 10)
Avoid crowded places, loud music and a raucous clientele at all costs. Seek banal and insipid associates. Wear neutral colors and comfortable shoes. Be yourself!

LEO (August 10 – September 16)
Doing something totally spontaneous and reaching out will get you results that planning, testing and hunkering down can’t – like chaos and pandemonium.

VIRGO (September 16 – October 30)
You will be in for some pretty exciting love interest action this month. Go ahead and wear your spiciest outfits – perhaps the cayenne pepper, cumin and cilantro.

LIBRA (October 30 – November 23)
You find yourself accused of inappropriate behavior. It’s baffling because nothing changed. You are still quite a blabbermouth, what you call communication skills.

SCORPIO (November 23 – November 29)
Your ability to impress people one-on-one is amazing. Unfortunately, if you really want to be a magician, you may need an actual audience of more than one.

OPHIUCHUS (November 29 – December 17)
This month is starting out on a super good note for you! By the end of the first week, it all begins to unravel. Even chicken soup and a Jedi Lightsaber can’t help.

SAGITTARIUS (December 17 – January 20)
There is nothing wrong with doing just enough to get by. The bare minimum of effort can be just the right amount, especially during those intimate moments.

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