April 16, 2024

Horoscopes for May 18-24, 2014

CAPRICORN (January 19 – February 16)

You will find in May that you can give as good as you get when it comes to ambiguity. If anything, you have mastered the art of vagueness and uncertainty.

AQUARIUS (February 16 – March 11)

You will take that ride on the carousel of life to grab the brass ring. Unfortunately, your horse will throw a shoe and toss you off the whirligig, ring-less still.

PISCES (March 20 – April 18)

This month, you will need to be careful to keep your me, me, me impulses in check. If you love something, set it free. Okay, not your pets, especially the birds.

ARIES (April 18 – May 13)

Now is the very best time for you to go for something really big and crazy — maybe a bold new love life robot. Sorry, that was supposed to be love life reboot.

TAURUS (May 13 – June21)

For Taurus, it’s time for you to get more comfortable with uncertainty in your life. You could be in store for a big payoff. If not, tough beans. Just get used to it.

GEMINI (June 21 – July 20)

Early this month, friends love you, your job is going great and you’re feeling excellent about everything. Enjoy those couple of days – normalcy returns abound.

CANCER (July 20 – August 10)

This may,people in your life are all trying to top each other with their own brand of freaky behavior, trying to get attention. Don’t worry, they can’t touch your freak.

LEO (August 10 – September 16)

Now is a great time to go to the sauna, or get a massage, or take a daylong yoga course. Just make sure you don’t sell your soul to the brass incense holder.

VIRGO (September 16 – October 30)

You won’t make heads or tails of emails or messages from someone you usually understand. TWI, or Texting While Intoxicated is becoming a growing problem.

LIBRA (October 30 – November 23)

You are frustrated with the pace of change in yourself. Got to let things happen. Hair’s gonna thin, chin’s gonna drop, butt’s gonna grow. then you’re mulch.

SCORPIO (November 23 – November 29)

Whether you’re happy or sad, exhilarated or irritated, pleasantly surprised or not so much, be sure you get it off your chest. then run. Run like the driven wind.

OPHIUCHUS (November 29 – December 17)

Your intuition is like a second sight, making it much easier for you to choose the best possible path. Still, your scouting skills suffer and you have to be rescued.

SAGITTARIUS (December 17 – January 20)

The stars say if you’re feeling kind of emotional — up, then down, then up again, then down — your best bet is to go for a nice, long run. Just don’t look back.

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