Brown Bread Conundrum
I was having breakfast with friends, and one of them asked the waiter for wheat toast. His response was, “The only choice we have is white or brown, and I don’t know what the brown is.” There was an awkward silence as everybody waited for my friend’s answer. She was clearly confused. Her cheeks flushed as she imagined every eye in the restaurant was on her, every patron wondering what was taking her so long. She searched the faces of her friends at the table for any simple sign of support, but found none. She sat naked and alone. “White,”…
Other Characteristics of a Counter
After reading my recent column about being a “counter,” many people have found it necessary to confess that they are also. I have not actually counted how many, but as I suspected, there are more out there than you would imagine. Some have disagreed with my opinion that it was genetic or hereditary, because other family members classify them as being weird. None reported their family has gone to the extreme of keeping them hidden away when company arrives, but introductions may be cut short if you start to say, “It’s nice to meet you. You know, you’re the seventh…
The Price of RFD
Most city folks don’t know what RFD stands for, and sometimes I think the US Postal Service hopes the rest of us forget about it, too. Rural Free Delivery was introduced a long time ago because Congress thought rural citizens had as much right to have mail delivered to their homes as city dwellers. Most of Congress still feels that way (especially since its members get free postage), but there seems to be some question about the definition of “rural.” I live on the edge of a dirt road, over a mile beyond the nearest asphalt. There are four houses…
Advice for Tools
When I “deboxed” a new tool the other day, the operating instructions fell to the floor. Ordinarily I pay little attention to operating instructions, until the tool fails to perform as expected. After all, I’m a guy, and guys know all about tools. I don’t need no stinkin’ instructions. But these were underfoot; I couldn’t just let them lie there. I closed my eyes, and felt around for them, but finally had to peek. That’s when it happened. Right there on the front page in big, bold letters were those words no guy likes to see. “READ ALL INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE…
