June 1, 2023

Hairline Cracked

North Korea appeared to have conducted its third underground nuclear bomb test, as the U.S. Geological Survey reported a seismic disturbance centered near the site of the secretive regime’s two previous nuclear (pronounced “new-clear”) (not “nuke-ya-ler”) tests. The president of North Korea takes time out of his busy day of having people salute him and sing him songs of praise to show the state controlled press the very spot where the blast could be felt.

North Korea, not well known in the world of sports for its number of pro basketball players (namely none), showed very little concern that the nuclear (pronounced “new-clear”) (not “nuke-ya-ler”) activity seemed to have left a hairline crack in the floor of the national gymnasium. The significance of the crack in the floor also represents the same spot where the little president, as a younger, littler boy once attempted his first 3-point shot. According to witnesses, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of death followed by torture, the little tyrant-to-be missed by a mile, but had the official scorer count the basket. It’s a great day to be dictator. And now, after a visit by former basketball player, Dennis Rodman, the dictator of doom, the tyrant of terror, the despot of disaster has sent word through the delightful Mr. Rodman to President Barack Obama to, “Call me, maybe.”


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