February 27, 2024

Congressional Wins

NATIONAL LEGISLATION NEWS: Congress has been unable to agree on a budget, direct Social Security reform, solve the Medicaid dilemma or protect our borders. However, in emergency sessions, they have succeeded in exposing the steroid use in sports and making sure credit card companies collected from people out of work and forced to file bankruptcy, proving, once again, we have the very best government that money can buy.

AUTOMOBILE SAFETY NEWS: A recent study conducted by the National Academy of Sciences should be of interest to those drivers who claim to buy SUVs purely for safety reasons. The results of the study revealed that the death rate for SUV occupants is higher than that of passenger cars. Some speculate the cause being drivers of SUVs feel safer and are more likely to take chances. Others think they may just be really bad drivers.

SPREADING DEMOCRACY NEWS: As part of a broad strategy to spur political change in Cuba, the U.S. government has been quietly sending hundreds of thousands of dollars to activists seeking to undermine Fidel Castro. If this tactic fails, the proposed next step is to undermine the Cuban government by flooding the island with American tourists.

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