Brimstone Bound
Pope Benedict is telling me
That my beliefs are swell,
And, though he hates to break the news,
I’m going straight to Hell.
The Protestants proclaim with smiles,
My heart is pure and true,
But, if I think I’m heaven-bound,
I’ve lost a major screw.
The Christian Rapture Right declares
They’d help me if they could,
But, since I voted Democrat,
Damnation is too good.
I’ve not heard from the Atheists,
Or, those who worship Beer,
But, exit polls predict as one,
My destination’s clear.
Hell bound! “a one-way ticket to
Eternity at play!”
With Jessica and Brittany,
Instead of Doris Day.
