November 29, 2023

The Petting Zoo Diet

The girl sat down across from me
And gave her mane a swish.
She opened up her menu as
She crowed, “I can’t eat fish!”

“You can’t?” I asked. She mooed, and said,
“Nor cheesecake anymore,
Or anything like brownies or
The things that I adore.

No sugar, lard, or olive oil,
No beef or bird or pork,
No albatross or crocodile will
Ever grace my fork.

Now, rutabagas I can eat,
But I don’t see them here;
I don’t see parsnips either or
Raw turnips. So, my dear,

You’ll have to take me someplace there’s
A baby goat and cow–
A place with a dispenser for
Purina Petting Chow.”

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