April 16, 2024

Keep America Beautiful

Many of you 50 and older are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. You’re unsure about the kind of image you are projecting, and whether or not you are correct as you try to conform to the fashions that the designers inflict upon the world. So here are the results of a study of the situation.

Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and a bald spot

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4. Miniskirt and support stockings

5. Ankle bracelet and corn plasters

6. Speedo bathing suit and a beer belly

7. Belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar

8. Unbuttoned shirt and a heart monitor

9. Midriff shirt and a midriff bulge

10. A bikini and incontinence protection

11. Short shorts and varicose veins

12. In-line skates and a walker

13. Tattoos and wrinkles and liver spots

14. Tube tops and stretch marks


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