March 21, 2023

Virgin Birth and Unfinished Borscht-ness

Q: I read that scientists have discovered many creatures living in Australia are giving males the flick and opting for all-female communities that reproduce by cloning themselves. They reproduce by parthenogenesis, or virgin birth, but why and where, has researchers baffled. Asexual reproduction–so rare that less than one species in 1,000 practices it–tends to occur in extreme environments, such as high altitudes, high latitudes, deserts and places disturbed by fires and droughts. Have you heard of such phenomena?

A: I have heard that because of the small number of available decent men, Texas women are establishing asexual reproduction workshops.


Q: I have a friend that wants to go to a psychic to talk with his deceased mother. I know it’s popular on television now, but do you believe people can “cross over” and actually speak with the dead?

A: I hope so. My mother must have left an important ingredient out of one of her best recipes she left behind. My borscht just doesn’t taste the same.


Q: I read that a Spanish-American scientific team will be scanning the United States this winter for what might be one of the weirdest byproducts of global warming: spheres of ice that fall from the sky. Could this be just a one-time odd occurrence or is it a sign of things to come?

A: Ice balls, weighing 25 to 35 pounds, have punched holes in roofs of houses, smashed through car windshields and whizzed right past people’s heads in Barcelona, Spain. Studies show this could be just the beginning of strange ice storms. Goodness gracious, great balls of ice!


Q: I hear that every so often, our planet’s magnetic poles reverse polarity. Compass needles have always pointed North; in a reversal, they would point South. Could this throw the vortices in Sedona out of whack and somehow reverse their mystical powers?

A: I have absolutely no idea. But it would explain the change of direction in my underwear every now and then.


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