June 6, 2023

Out of Body Leg Massage

Q: A friend of mine told me that once in a while she would wake up with an excruciating spasm in her leg in the middle of the night. Her husband would routinely wake up and would then rub out the pain for her until she fell back to sleep. On one particular night, a leg cramp woke her. She had just started to groan in pain when she saw her husband standing at the foot of his side of the bed. He offered to massage her, but when she moved to give him room, she felt her husband next to her in bed. Was this an out of body experience?

A: Hard to say. It would depend on which leg the cramp was in and which side of the bed she slept on. How would I know? Maybe she takes halcyon.


Q: While visiting Vietnam one summer, I spent the night with a friend who gets paid to stay at a cigarette factory at night to guard the place. He warned me that there was a ghost, a woman ghost who came every night. Therefore, nobody slept there but him. I smiled and said that I never believed that ghosts exist. That night, while he slept, I saw her–a small woman with black hair and Chinese clothing with a blackened face. I woke him and told him about her and all he said was that she was the same ghost he has seen. I am now a believer. Any other converts out there?

A: Me. Now I believe in the Chinese Ghost of Lung Cancer Future.


Q: I live in Montreal, Canada. One night after catching the bus home I noticed a sick or injured pigeon on the ground. I had no idea how to help it, so I just left it alone. The next day I saw it was still there. Suddenly, two young women came strolling by in shorts and tank tops–it was winter! I thought how odd it was when one of them picked up the bird. The bus came and blocked my view, so I never saw what happened next and they were gone by the time I got on the bus. Could these have been some sort of bird angels?

A: Sure. I’ve heard it gets so cold in Montreal in winter, your brain freezes.


Q: I think I saw what could be called a gray chupacabra eating out of a neighbor’s trash can. The body was heavier in the bottom and reminded me of a kangaroo body, but he was completely gray. Maybe gray, short haired fur. I am not sure, but the body was definitely gray in color. It had a skinny tail that was similar in appearance to a rat’s tail, but it was much longer and slightly wider. I barely noticed the creature’s features until it maneuvered out of the way from the garbage can. Did I spot a gray chupacbra?

A: I apologize. When I first read this I thought you saw a gay chupacabra.


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