April 25, 2024

The Garden of Edam

                                      I’ve always been a person who Could conjure up the bucks; At eight years-old I biked the park And raffled off the ducks! My latest scam requires a move To Nazareth, P.A. To launch my Christian cheese shop and To profit from the fray. “The Garden of Edam” is its name, With sculpted cheese on-line: There’s “Adam and Eve in Provolone” And “Noah’s Curds in Brine.” There’s “Matthew in Sharp Cheddar” and There’s “Mark in Tasty Brie,” There’s “Luke in Mozzarella”…

Brimstone Bound

                                       Pope Benedict is telling me That my beliefs are swell, And, though he hates to break the news, I’m going straight to Hell. The Protestants proclaim with smiles, My heart is pure and true, But, if I think I’m heaven-bound, I’ve lost a major screw. The Christian Rapture Right declares They’d help me if they could, But, since I voted Democrat, Damnation is too good. I’ve not heard from the Atheists, Or, those who worship Beer, But, exit polls predict as one, My…

Intelligent Life on Jupiter?

Q: I read about a new robotic submarine being developed by NASA to explore the oceans of one of Jupiter’s moons. This submarine is on test at the moment in a lake in Texas. Finding life elsewhere in the solar system would be a vital bolster to the Panspermia theory, the theory that intelligent life came from another planet or solar system. Do you think they’ll find intelligent life on Jupiter? A: Who knows? I’m amazed they found intelligent life in Texas. Q: My brother told me about a man who was contracted by the Department of Natural Resources to…