Real Guy Quiz Time
Have you ever looked in a “girl” magazine? They’re full of these stupid quizzes like, “Does your man really love you?” Or, “How can I tell if I’m REALLY in love?” Here, at last, is a quiz that makes sense for GUYS!
1. What does your wife/girlfriend do when you remind her that it’s goose season?
(A) Launder your camouflage
(B) Run to her mother’s house
(C) Clean your shotgun
(D) A and C
2. When your truck breaks down in the woods, do you:
(A) Scream to the heavens, “Lord, why me?”
(B) Start walking
(C) Look in the cooler to see how long you can survive until you’re rescued
(D) Reach for the duct tape
3. When your favorite country song comes on the radio while you’re driving to work do you:
(A) Thump the steering wheel in time with the beat
(B) Turn up the volume and open the windows so everyone else can enjoy it, too
(C) Resolve to write a “Thank You” note to the radio station
(D) Sing along and drive right by your freeway exit. (Don’t worry; the boss will understand your being late.)
4. Your dog is sick. Your wife is sick. Your kids are sick. Do you:
(A) Try to convince your wife she’s not too sick to take care of the kids
(B) Tell the kids that if they don’t get better their Mother will leave
(C) Take your dog to the vet
(D) All of the above
5. You top the hill at 60 MPH and see a wild turkey in the middle of the road. Do you:
(A) Swerve to avoid it
(B) Lay on the horn hoping it will run away
(C) Admire its conformity
(D) Smack that sucker dead on, load it in the truck and take it home for dinner
6. Your wife turns on TV and settles down to watch “Martha Stewart Living.” Do you:
(A) Sit and watch
(B) Sit and watch and take notes
(C) Offer to get your wife a cup of tea before you sit and watch and take notes
(D) Reach for your Remington 12-gauge and offer to unload it through the picture tube unless she changes the channel to wrestling or NASCAR
7. You get out of your truck, slip on the ice and fall on your butt. Do you:
(A) Cry out
(B) Find out who owns the parking lot and sue them
(C) Resolve to tell your buddies about this experience, but admit you were distracted by a woman in a skimpy outfit
(D) Look frantically about to see if anybody saw you fall, cursing as you come to your feet
8. Your friend comes home with a bigger fish catch than you. Do you:
(A) Congratulate him
(B) Ask him to share his techniques
(C) Offer to clean and cook his catch
(D) Go get good and drunk
9. You haul yourself out of bed at 9 am and manage to make it to the town diner for coffee. Parked out front is your best friend’s truck with his ATV in the back, his deer rifle in the gun rack and a 20-point buck strapped across the bed. What do you do?
(A) Go into the diner, buy your friend a cup of coffee and congratulate him on his trophy
(B) Go into the diner, ask your friend where he managed to take such a fine prize
(C) Go into the diner, sneer at your friend and tell him he was just lucky and will never be able to repeat the performance
(D) Borrow his truck without his knowledge
SCORE YOURSELF:
If you answered (A) to any of the above, go jump in the lake.
If you answered (B) to any of the above, check yourself into the nearest spa.
If you answered (C) to any of the above, go to the woods, live in a cave and collect leaves for the rest of your life.
If you answered (D) to all of the above, you’re a real guy and you’ve earned the right to live and fight another day.
See ya around,
Buck
