February 25, 2024

The South is All Them Red States

  • They measure distance in minutes.
  • They’ve often had to switch from heat to a/c in the same day.
  • You’ll see a car running in a store parking lot with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
  • They use “fix” as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.
  • All the festivals across the South are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
  • They install security lights on their houses and garages and then leave both unlocked.
  • They carry jumper cables in their car… for their OWN car.
  • They know what “cow tipping” is.
  • They only own four spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete and catsup.
  • The local papers cover national and international news on one page and six pages for local gossip and sports.
  • They think that the first day of deer season should be a national holiday.
  • They find 100 degrees Fahrenheit “a little warm.”
  • They experience all four seasons: almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.
  • Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time commonly known as “Goin-a wal-martin” or “Off ta Wally World.”
  • They describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.
  • A carbonated soft drink isn’t a soda, cola, or pop…it’s a coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: “What kinda coke you want?”
  • Fried catfish is the other white meat.
  • “Onced” and “twiced” are words.
  • “Fixinto” is one word.
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