On Marriage

cur-mudg-eon (cur-muj’un), n. [origin unknown] 1. archaic: a crusty, ill-tempered, churlish old man. 2. modern: anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner.
“A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing.”
— Duane Dewel
“In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.”
— Helen Rowland
“Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.”
— Jackie Mason
“Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.”
— Leonardo Di Vinci
“The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men.”
— Aristotle
“In my house I’m the boss, my wife is the decision maker.”
— Woody Allen
“My fiancee and I are having a little disagreement. What I want is a big church wedding with bridesmaids and flowers and a no expense spared reception; and what he wants is to break off our engagement.”
— Sally Poplin
“I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late.”
— Max Kaufman
“An open marriage is nature’s way of telling you that you need a divorce. ”
— Ann Landers
“It was a perfect marriage. She didn’t want to and he couldn’t.”
— Spike Milligan
“Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.”
— Mickey Rooney