February 28, 2024

Horoscopes for March 30-April 5, 2014

CAPRICORN (January 19 – February 16)

Early this month, your brain is extremely active and it’s making you very productive and ambitious. Don’t panic, you’ll be back to addled in no time at all.

AQUARIUS (February 16 – March 11)

You will find yourself feeling like a surfer navigating waves of emotion. Then it happens – wipe-out! Your emotional house goes under water. File for bankruptcy.

PISCES (March 20 – April 18)

You may sense a person in a position of authority is subtly flirting with you. Then again, you have been adding a lot of leafy greens to your diet. Toothpick?

ARIES (April 18 – May 13)

You’ll be amazed by just how well something as simple as asking nicely can work. Of course, your usual barking and threatening are far more fun and exciting.

TAURUS (May 13 – June21)

You’ll complain that nearly every forecast in these pages has been wrong. However, we have disproved the adage that you can’t get something for nothing. Ha!

GEMINI (June 21 – July 20)

You’ve got a ton of energy, ideas, and pizzazz, plus that extra dash of magic that makes everything sparkle. Sorry, that was Aries for March 2011. Never mind.

CANCER (July 20 – August 10)

This March you will think for yourself and do what you think is right — even though it may lead to be a total disaster. Take comfort that you did it alone.

LEO (August 10 – September 16)

You will grab the steering wheel of your life, hoist your sails and point yourself toward where you want to go. Sadly, you’ll discover that the world really is flat.

VIRGO (September 16 – October 30)

March’s astral alignment shows the stars sending you extra powers of attraction. That could explain those dogs and cats following you around on your lunch break.

LIBRA (October 30 – November 23)

This month, you could see some of your most idealistic hopes and dreams suddenly on the brink of becoming reality. Then, poof -they’re gone. Back to normal.

SCORPIO (November 23 – November 29)

When an obstacle appears in your path, do your very best to be grateful for it. This forecast obviously refers to ethereal obstacles, not things in front of your car.

OPHIUCHUS (November 29 – December 17)

This month, you will go to a high-profile party that you can’t get out of. Skip the shallow chitchat and get into a deep conversation. You won’t be invited back.

SAGITTARIUS (December 17 – January 20)

You’ll have an intense relationship brewing that you put on the back burner. You forget about it and it boils over and spills lots of messy stuff all over the floor.

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