February 27, 2024

Spanking the Devil Out and Lost Time

Q: I see where they came out with a prequel to The Exorcist. I have a friend who is trying to get a priest or psychic to perform an exorcism on his son. He claims he is possessed by demons and that is why he does weird things like torture small animals and threaten and harass the neighborhood kids. Do you think he could be possessed by the devil?

A: It never ceases to amaze me the number people who believe some external force is in control of their mental faculties and physical actions. Up until about a decade ago, parents just used to spank the living devil out of their children. Don’t you find it strange we can legally execute children, but we can’t spank them?


Q: South African veterinarians have found a human-like baby creature inside a sheep. A rancher was slaughtering the sheep when he found the dead creature inside. Some think it is a deformed lamb fetus, but its lower body resembles that of a human baby. Can you explain this?

A: I dunno. If the sheep had come from Cornville, Arizona, maybe.


Q: Many serious and casual researchers are claiming that some of today’s gadgetry can be useful to contact the dead… or at least allow the dead to contact us. Are you aware of any such experiences?

A: Just one. A good friend of mine said he heard his father’s voice over the television one night during a rerun of The Andy Griffith Show. He thinks his father said, “Anyone seen the remote control?”


Q: I was traveling with my boyfriend when my car stalled. I pulled over and my boyfriend got behind the wheel as I slid over. This must have taken a few seconds or a minute at the most. Then I glanced at the clock on the stereo again. It was 6:36 p.m. Twelve minutes had passed when, being generous, the whole incident couldn’t have taken more than 1-1/2 minutes, max. So what’s up with that?

A: My experience is that men have a poor sense of direction, while women have no concept of time. Just think of the number of times that a woman has said, “I’ll be just a minute” and appear nearly an hour later.


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