April 25, 2024

New Year’s Vow

by Doug “Rabbit” Sutherland, Minister of Reality

Last year my resolution was
An altruistic stiff!
My self-denial I truly thought
Would save us from the cliff.

I ate raw grains, tofu and leaves,
Which, trust me, wasn’t fun,
Believing that my sacrifice
Would grow your 401!

But, did I do a single thing
To solve our fiscal pain?
And, what was I contributing
To economic economic gain?

The answers are as clear as fat
Upon my Christmas goose:
I wasn’t adding anything!—
In fact, my pants got loose!

And, so, this year I do resolve
From thinness to break free!—
Observing my new solemn vow
Of strict obesity!

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