Ye Olde Demon…
One drink I haven’t touched on much in my writing this column is the spirit, rum. That’s mostly because I don’t drink much hard liquor. I do enjoy a well-made spirit from time to time though, and when it comes to my tastes, my preferences include whiskies, tequilas and nice dark rums. Rum tends to be one of the more neglected spirits in the average person’s bar repertoire, as it gets relegated to cheap cocktails and fruity tooty drinks. Rum has a storied history though with influence around the globe. The drink has quietly earned a place amongst the world’s…
Dirt Road Expert
I’m a dirt road expert. I’ve not only driven on dirt roads in more than a dozen states and six foreign countries, but I’ve lived and worked on dirt roads in three states. I live on a dirt road now, and I am appalled, yes appalled, at the lack of etiquette I’ve seen lately in my travels. If you’re one of those prissy-pants who wouldn’t accept a barbecue invitation from the president because his ranch is on a dirt road and you don’t want to get your shiny SUV dirty, you can just skip this column and we’ll see you…
Happy Halloween!
Well, how was your last Halloween? Did you go trick-or-treating? What!? You say you’re too old for that sort of thing? NONSENSE! Remember the saying, “You’re as old as you feel”? For some reason, last Halloween I felt about 10 or 12, so I decided to dress up, go around the neighborhood and gather me a stash of sweets. The first challenge was to come up with a costume. This had to be something unique, not just some store-bought standard thing anyone would put on. I investigated many avenues and tried many things before deciding what to wear. My first…
An Apple a Day
I’m a history buff. I took a vacation recently to one of America’s richest history regions in Central Virginia. What struck me touring about Monticello and Montpelier (the respective homes of Thomas Jefferson and James Madison) is the day to day life that the estates would produce from the land. I found the way the homes were constructed so they could deal with everyday tasks to be fascinating, especially regarding the harvesting, storage, and preparation of foodstuffs, as both Jefferson and Madison enjoyed fine dining and entertained quite often. I had known for some time about traditional drinks of the…
Maybe I Was Wrong!
The average male is five feet eight inches tall. I reached that height more than forty years ago and haven’t grown an inch since, so I think I have to resign myself to the fact that I never will get any taller. But I pretty much thought that I would never get any shorter either. Maybe I was wrong. The first ten of those forty-odd years, my waist size fluctuated between 28 and 30 inches. I could measure my own waist, but not my inseam and have never been real comfortable having someone else do it either. Therefore, by trial…
Good Things to Eat?
Oxford Companion to Cooking? My wife has expanded the cookbook collection…again! We have more cookbooks than a cooking school. The only time I get to eat is when I force myself to take a moment off from the never-ending job of building shelves for all the new cookbooks. Yesterday, in a fit of curiosity, I put down my saw and hammer and actually took a moment to look at one of the books I was building these shelves for. I was amazed. I was speechless (some will count this as a blessing). I was fascinated. I was mesmerized. All of…
Colder is Better and Other Wise Words
I once again want to tackle the myths that seem to stubbornly hang on regarding beverages. Call them what you will, but most are nothing more than rumor, second-hand innuendo, and wives’ tales that somehow get accepted as fact by the uneducated masses. Just because some bartender at your favorite club swears it’s true because it happened to his friend, doesn’t make it so. So strap in and learn a little something about what actually goes on in your glass so you don’t make the beverage mistakes that do result in a lousy tasting product. The issue at hand that…
Brown Bread Conundrum
I was having breakfast with friends, and one of them asked the waiter for wheat toast. His response was, “The only choice we have is white or brown, and I don’t know what the brown is.” There was an awkward silence as everybody waited for my friend’s answer. She was clearly confused. Her cheeks flushed as she imagined every eye in the restaurant was on her, every patron wondering what was taking her so long. She searched the faces of her friends at the table for any simple sign of support, but found none. She sat naked and alone. “White,”…
The Wino’s Geek Speak Part Deux
I began explaining some style definitions and descriptive terms commonly used by winemakers as they discuss and evaluate the labors of their fruit. Here I continue on with the topics of taste and smell that were cut from my last column to be pasted here for your enjoyment. Bitterness, Astringency, and Tannins What many people run in fear of when mistakenly saying a wine (particularly reds) is too dry are overly tannic wines that leave a bitter flavor and extreme puckering astringency. Many people confuse bitterness and astringency. Bitterness is a flavor. It’s somewhat difficult to describe without making you…
A Winery’s Best Friend
I’ve easily been to over 100 tasting rooms at various wineries around the world. I’ve probably easily been to over 200. I can’t really say as I lost count a long time ago. How many wineries I’ve been to isn’t important though, as this article isn’t about how much wine I’ve had to drink. I wanted to talk about something I think is a must have, necessary, arguably mandatory requirement for having a great winery: cool pets that give a friendly greeting and enjoyable experience to everyone that visits the winery. Most tasting rooms, especially the ones in the well…
Eau, That’s Schnapps
I recall having a conversation with a woman while out wine tasting one day several years ago. She was very excited because she was taking a trip to Germany, and one of her scheduled events was touring about a few schnapps distilleries. I struck up a conversation with her on the topic since I’m a fan of all tasty beverages, had just been to Germany, and enjoyed a few schnapps while there. It seems she was a big fan of the sweet, syrupy, flavored liqueurs that most Americans associate with schnapps (we spell it with two P’s, the Germans only…
Hard to Starboard
The holiday season is a great time for food lovers. All sorts of delectable goodies find their way to the table. Beverages are no exception, and this time of year tends to see the dusting off of various specialty wines, that although great year round, usually are associated with the festivities of the holidays. One particular style has always been a favorite of mine. I’ve touched on it superficially before, but I want to delve into the world of Port Wine and bring you some knowledge behind one of the world’s great beverages. Port is what’s known as fortified wine. That…
Let’s Go Tasting
One thing I’ve mostly avoided in the almost five years of writing this column is being a simple wine critic that gives you a list of wines complete with my personal opinion and some arbitrary number score. I myself am a critic of the critics, as many times I don’t feel they do justice to the wine world since each critic comes with a full set of biases on what they like and don’t like, and simply telling you wines they enjoy without admitting their bias faults doesn’t help you if your palate differs from theirs. That being said, reviews…
What’s the Word for It?
One of my favorite things to poke fun of in the wine world is the critical review. I find many of them comical because it seems that the writers try to find the most obscure phrase possible. While characters of earthy morning dew from a Tuscan field may sound adventurous, it doesn’t really tell you much about the wine. The sensory teams in winemaking try to evaluate their wines in clear and concise terms. Esoteric descriptions are to be avoided as best as possible, but that’s not to say that exotic terms aren’t still valid descriptors. Lychee for instance is…
Aussie Wine Advocate
Many people in the wine industry can recall a moment early in their career when they tasted something absolutely memorable. My moment happened in the Barossa Valley, Australia during the 1997 Culinary Festival, a now defunct event that brought together the best of Adelaide cuisine with Barossa wine. I was at the Elderton Winery and it was their 1995 Barossa Shiraz. It tasted like someone had taken a pepper grinder to my glass. I’ve been a wine geek ever since. I’ve also been an Aussie advocate ever since. Australian wines enjoyed a boom during the 90s food culture revolution here…
Beer: The Other Food Pairing
The dragon the wine world forever chases is food pairing. It started with the simple mantra of white wine with fish, red wine with meat. Now there seems to be a whole industry searching out all the flavor nuances of a particular dish and what wine matches best with that. It’s been a boon for the culinary world as the diversity of tastes from cuisines around the globe has caused a food renaissance in the United States that has taken us from the bland meat and potatoes of years past to vibrant, bold flavors that enhance the pleasure of eating…
The Science of Taste
I read an article from a colleague in the wine industry recently that lamented the state of the American palate. He was basically frustrated by the desire to have everything big, rich, fat, salty and sweet. He, of course, is not from the United States, so he didn’t grow up eating McDonald’s and drinking Coca-Cola. It got me thinking though about how little the average person understands when it comes to flavor and taste. I experience this on a regular basis with customers that can’t identify, or explain, the basic flavors in the foods they eat. So, let’s look at some…
The Coming of the Can
The current be-all and end-all package of the beverage industry is the can. Cans are sturdy when filled, lightweight, air tight, block light from the contents inside, can hold carbonated backpressure if designed properly, are easily recycled, and with the proper internal sealant are virtually non-reactive with the contents they hold. Cans take up less space. Thin metal is very conductive, so cans heat faster if pasteurization is required, and cool quicker for your enjoyment. Plus, a shiny metal surface is the ideal canvas to paint your logo and product brand for display. The brewing industry caught on to this…
Family Reunions!
Guess what? It’s time to start planning for that event that strikes a chill in the heart of every true guy. The dreaded Arizona Family Reunion! WOW, what a thrill. Here we go again, or do we? Remember last year when the kids had the famous lemonade fight in the back seat of the car? How about the time you took the wrong turn because your wife was holding the map upside down and you ended up in the middle of the desert?All those memories pale in comparison to the time you waited three hour detour in 100-degree heat to…
Don’t Eat the Worm
In honor of Cinco de Mayo and all other great things Mexican, this month I’m going to talk about that exotic spirit from south of the border – tequila. Agave Tequila is the end product of fermenting and distilling the agave plant. All distillates produced from agave are actually known as mezcals (which is a whole other topic for future discussion), of which tequila is a special class. It’s like making the distinction between brandy and cognac. For a mezcal to qualify as tequila, it must come from a defined geographic area, which is mostly in the Mexican state of…
The Race to Zero
One recent trend I’ve noticed in the beverage world is the low calorie drink. It started with the rush to have the lowest number on light beers. It’s morphed into cocktails now with ready-to-serve brands geared towards the diet market. I’m not a fan of the trend in the slightest. Not because I disagree with healthy eating (or drinking), but because I disagree that these products are necessarily healthy choices versus more traditional options. That, and after trying many of them, I seriously believe consumers are short changing themselves on flavor just so they can have an extra serving of…
Beware Drunk Moose–and Other Blue Law Irregularities
One of the lasting legacies of prohibition is a mishmash of laws by the Federal Government and the states in regulating alcohol. It gets even more complicated when localities get involved and add another layer of regulation. Our elected officials, in their infinite lack of wisdom, do manage to come up with some ridiculous offerings when regulating one of their favorite targets for social control. This month, just for amusement, I wanted to look at some of the various alcohol blue law favorites from around the…
Sulfate, Sulfite, Sulfide
One of the positive trends in the agriculture industry is the push toward natural farming and food production methods that are environmentally friendly. They promote healthy soils, and limit the potential for exposure to toxic chemicals in the food chain. The wine industry has been on the leading edge with organic farming methods, as well as low impact wine making in the cellar. One substance that leads to mass confusion is sulfur. I see this frequently in dealing with consumers, so this month I will address the role of sulfur in wine making, and why in limited amounts it’s considered…
Hand Selected, With Predicate
Do you know the difference between spätlesen and auslesen? How about QmP versus QbA? German wines have been on the rise recently, thanks in large part to the renewed popularity of Riesling. Let’s break down German wine labeling to help you understand. Germany uses a meticulous labeling system that designates the factors used in producing the wine, some of which include region, if sugar was added, and how ripe the grapes are when picked. Wine is broken down into four major categories: table wine (tafelwine), country wine (landwein), quality wine (qualitätswein), and top quality wine (prädikatswein). Tafelwein and Landwein Tafelwein and…
Holiday Treats
It’s “that time of the year” again. The time of the year when every writer who writes anything in any kind of newspaper or magazine has to remind you that it’s that time of the year again. So what is that time of the year? The Holiday Season, of course! On page 15 of the Official Rules of Writing, it states that, “No writer shall ignore ‘that time of the year’ under penalty of banishment from the Writer’s Community.” Therefore, I have no choice but to write a festive and fun-filled column about the holiday season. This year I’ve chosen…
The Politics of Drinking
Bourbon is required to contain at least 50% corn and must be aged in a new, charred, American oak barrel. In 1516, Bavaria passed a law called the Reinheitsgebot allowing only 3 ingredients in the production of beer. One of my favorites: to this day, the Vatican has given its blessing to consume as much bock or doublebock beer as you wish. There are basically three major influences on the development of beverages in history: the local raw materials used in production; natural barriers between regions that isolate people and plant species; and the never ending influence of those in…
Other Characteristics of a Counter
After reading my recent column about being a “counter,” many people have found it necessary to confess that they are also. I have not actually counted how many, but as I suspected, there are more out there than you would imagine. Some have disagreed with my opinion that it was genetic or hereditary, because other family members classify them as being weird. None reported their family has gone to the extreme of keeping them hidden away when company arrives, but introductions may be cut short if you start to say, “It’s nice to meet you. You know, you’re the seventh…
Wines for Thanksgiving
I always enjoy the autumn season. The summer heat is finally gone. The harvest has come in, bringing with it all the abundance of nature. After a long summer season of light and simple flavors to avoid weighing one down, the hearty foods and robust spices come out to satisfy the palate as the days get shorter and colder. The quintessential expression of the season is my favorite holiday of the year, Thanksgiving. The traditional turkey dinner can be challenging to match wines with as the popular varieties Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, and Chardonnay are not typically the best fit. So,…
The Price of RFD
Most city folks don’t know what RFD stands for, and sometimes I think the US Postal Service hopes the rest of us forget about it, too. Rural Free Delivery was introduced a long time ago because Congress thought rural citizens had as much right to have mail delivered to their homes as city dwellers. Most of Congress still feels that way (especially since its members get free postage), but there seems to be some question about the definition of “rural.” I live on the edge of a dirt road, over a mile beyond the nearest asphalt. There are four houses…
Measuring Things
How do you measure things? By the inch? By the pound? By the second or minute? Obviously, we all use these measurements and many more to function in today’s complex world. Units of measurement abound. In the metric system, there’s the centimeter, gram, kilogram, hectare, etc. In our English system, we have inches, feet, pounds, miles, etc. Scientists use units with names like watt, slug, radian, ohm, mho, farad and many others. It may surprise you to learn that even with the broad array of units of measurement out there, more are needed. I, therefore, propose adoption of the following…
