May 27, 2019

Bet the Better

Dear Frankly, I am the wife of a compulsive gambler. He didn’t start out that way, but in the past four or five years he has become hooked on betting on everything from professional sports to our kid’s soccer matches. Friends are afraid to show up at sporting events in fear he will approach them. How can I stop him? It would be easier if he was losing money, but he has won enough to recently buy me new car. Worried Wife Dear Worried, I like that you waited to get a new car before writing to get him help…

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BBQ Brouhaha

Dear Frankly, My future mother-in-law has been good–non-interfering nor manipulative. Until now. She is in charge of the rehearsal dinner and instead of having it catered, she decided to host a barbeque. I was disappointed, but agreed. My fiancee and I gave her the list of guests. Now she says that she has six friends in town who she is including at the dinner. I told her to forget about the dinner, I would host it myself in a restaurant. Now she says that she won’t be there. Who’s right? Soon-to-be Married Dear Soon-to-be, A barbecue sounds yummy. Looking at…

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Catch His Name Before Falling

Dear Frankly, Every time a young man I am attracted to says or does something nice to me, I fall head over heels in love with him. I have no idea why, and this happens all the time. I even fall in love with men I meet for the first time–and I think that they love me. When I see them again they either completely ignore me or flirt with another girl. I set my self up to be hurt. I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up about a guy, but I always do. What do you think I…

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Long-Distance Let Down

Dear Frankly, I’m impressed with the quality of your advice and I hope you can help me, too. My girlfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for two years. Last week she told me that she needs some space. She said she wants to see other people, cut down on our phone conversations and not travel to see each other as much. She wants us to continue our friendship. I don’t want to lose her, but this new situation is soooo painful. What should I do? Lost in Space Dear Lost In, Long distance relationships are difficult…

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Fraidy Sadie

Dear Frankly, I am a first time writer. My boyfriend of five years seems afraid to make the plunge and ask me to marry him. I am wondering if I shouldn’t take the reins and pop the question. By forcing the issue, he would have to commit or admit he has no long term plan with me in the picture. Why is it men always have to propose? Why can’t women ask men to marry them? Ready to Wed Dear Ready To, I asked my fourth husband to marry me after a few months of hot and heavy dating. He…

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Junior Partner

Dear Frankly, I have always looked for older men, but now I find myself in love with a man a few years my junior. I have not been this happy since my kids were born. He is very tender and loving, and his family has accepted me with open arms. I wonder, though, if he will get bored and look for a younger woman in a few years. What happens when I get flabby and sagging? Am I the only older woman who thinks this? Happy Hannah Dear Happy, Good for you, honey. It’s about time we girls get ourselves…

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Covertly Sowing His Oats?

Dear Frankly, I am a bit confused about my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been dating for more than five years. Things are going well and we have plans for marriage in the future. My confusion comes from my wanting us to live together. I don’t see the big deal, since we plan on spending the rest of our lives together. He says the time isn’t right. Is he balking because he still wants his freedom to roam and sew some more wild oats or am I being overly suspicious? What should I do? Made for Marriage Dear Made…

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38 and Never Been Kissed!

Dear Frankly, I’m a 38 year old guy who, for whatever reason, has never kissed a woman. I know it is hard to believe, even laughable, but I’ve just never had the best of luck with the ladies. I’m not socially awkward–I can carry on a conversation and I’m fairly attractive, but I have never had that “first kiss” moment. I’ve avoided talking about my problem with friends, for fear of being looked down upon. What can I do to get in the game? Past My Prime Dear Past My, Good gracious. A woman almost always waits for her date…

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Define “Good Catch,” Please

Dear Frankly, I’m a thirty something, professional, financially successful male who has never had a long term, committed relationship. I usually ask out a girl I find attractive, go out a few times and then find something wrong with her and make myself unavailable when she calls. I think about how nice it would be to meet a great girl and settle down, but I never seem to meet girls that live up to my expectations. I think I’m a good catch. Can you help me find the girl of my dreams? Ready and Willing Dear Ready, First of all,…

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Wedding Behavior Pickle

Dear Frankly, I recently attended my boyfriend’s sister’s wedding. I had met his family only once before. I had too much to drink at the reception and I know his parents noticed my behavior. My boyfriend said I was really pickled and had to take me home early. Should I mention this obvious mistake and apologize for it in a thank you note to his parents? On the other hand, will that remind them of my behavior? Flustered Franny Dear Flustered, That’s funny. Usually, it’s the best man that gets blotto and makes an ass of himself. Do you think…

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Hand Me Down Boyfriends

Dear Frankly, I have a situation. My sister and I are the best of friends. We share almost everything, clothes, music, jewelry, you name it. But recently, she broke up with her boyfriend of more than four years. How long do I have to wait before asking him out? I don’t want to upset her, but he and I have great chemistry. Is two weeks long enough? She didn’t cry much and seems to be over him. How about one whole month – that’s over four weeks. Is that long enough? Help me figure this one out! Hot 4 My…

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AA for Dummies

Dear Frankly, I’m 43 years old and in my 10th year of recovery in a 12-step fellowship. I separated from my wife of 11 years recently. I have reconnected with a woman I met in the same group many years ago. We were friends and fooled around a bit, but it didn’t stick. She has a steady job and is buying a house. She left the program some years back and drinks socially. I’m afraid if I get too close I could fall off the wagon. What should I do? Confused Karl Dear Confused, Let’s review…While you were in AA…

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Team Play

Dear Frankly, There is a woman I like who has a boyfriend where we all work. He and I play for the company basketball team. She asked me to go out with her and I agreed. I asked her about her relationship with Jack. She said it was on again, off again and she didn’t know where it was going. I don’t really know what she wants from me. We are from different races but it doesn’t seem to matter to her. I don’t know whether she is serious. What should I do? Befuddled Barry Dear Befuddled, My third husband…

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Younger Booty Bother

Dear Frankly, I’m 54 and broke up a 10-year relationship with a younger man a year ago. And he now has a girlfriend (28). He’s 45. But now he has this girlfriend and it bothers me and I don’t know why. I know I have to get over him and I was OK until I found out he had someone else. Do most women do this or is something wrong with me? I should have got out a long time ago. Please tell me, Frankly, how do I go about getting along with the rest of my life? Pausing with…

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Soulmate Reversal

Dear Frankly, Why would a man tell me (again and again) that we are soulmates, that he’s been waiting his whole life for me and that he wants to have a baby with me—and then suddenly tell me we are not right for each other and end it with no explanation? We dated for over 10 months and had, I thought, a great relationship. We never fought and no problems ever came up between us. I don’t understand. I was expecting a proposal, not a break-up! I’m devastated. What happened? Sad and Confused Dear Sad, How should I know? I…

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Marry Your Sister’s Ex?

Dear Frankly, I am involved with my sister’s ex. We are in love and have recently moved in together. I am hoping our relationship be accepted by our families. I am worried about hurting my sister’s feelings. We found out that it is legal to marry each other here. He has asked and I want to. I guess what I’ve been looking for is someone’s blessing. My sister left the marriage and I cannot help that things worked out this way. Is there any way I can overcome our family issues? Confused Carla Dear Confused, When would it not be…

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Bisexual Boyfriend

Dear Frankly, My boyfriend, who I have been dating for three years, has just told me that he is bisexual. He said that he has never told anyone else and has hidden it from me until now. I cried for a week. I have many self-esteem problems already. He also said that if he were in my shoes, he would probably end the relationship. However, he’s glad I haven’t ended it and promises to be true. I am so confused with no one to talk to. What should I do? Confounded Connie Dear Confounded, Well, if that doesn’t beat all….

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A Deceiving Friendship

Dear Frankly, I was in a relationship that ended a month ago. The cause was her cheating, lying and deceiving me for a long time. I had no idea and it all came as a shock to me. Through all the pain I have suffered, I have really tried to be her friend and understand why she hurt me. But even now it has been me trying to keep contact with her and keep a “friendship” alive. I feel like maybe I’m doing this so that I don’t feel like I wasted over a year with her. Please help. Caring…

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Online Lying

Dear Frankly, I need some advice. I answered an online personal ad, but lied about a few things–like my age, education, hobbies, weight, job and income level. Now I am supposed to meet this woman for a drink at a local watering hole. We will each be carrying a white rose for identification. This gal sounded so interesting and her profile and pictures looked so good, I just had to meet her. I’m afraid she is going to be disappointed and run out before she gets a chance to find the real me. Misleading Marv Dear Misleading, I’m not sure…

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Spilled Milk

Dear Frankly, I have really gotten myself into a quandary. About a year ago I went to a bar with some girlfriends. I danced with a guy and had a great time. I started going back to the bar by myself to see if he was there. He was. After a couple of weeks he and I started doing more than just dancing. Months later, we agreed to put our relationship on ice. How do I get over an affair I should not have had in the first place? He and I are both married. I run into him all…

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The Making of a Woman’s Dream

Dear Frankly, I am a slightly built, light skinned, baby faced, balding teacher and not exactly a classic “woman’s dream.” I get along with women and have many women friends. They appreciate my humor, intelligence and understanding nature, yet it is rare when one of them shows an “attraction” towards me. For the past two years, I have been dateless and celibate. I’m beginning to experience desperation. Is it possible for a man my age (48) to find a relationship with a woman 20 years younger? Desperate Dave Dear Desperate, Learn to dance? Dress hip? A teacher’s salary? My fourth…

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Dumped or Dumb?

Dear Frankly, I met my girlfriend six months ago when she was engaged to someone else. Recently, a group of friends got together. She and I ended up dancing, talking for hours, and then spending the night together–after which she decided she was not ready for marriage and broke off her engagement. A week later, we decided to be an exclusive couple. Now, after only one month together, she has decided that we rushed things and need to step back. She would like to “start over” and date other people, too. Did I just get dumped or what? Confused Guy…

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A Litmus Test for How Serious He Is

Dear Frankly, A very significant boyfriend from my past recently used the Internet to find me. He said he had looked for me over the years (it has been 8 years since we split up.) This is the one man with whom I had actually discussed marriage very seriously with. We e-mailed and text-messaged each other often for a couple of weeks. He was flirty and sweet–the way I remembered him. After a few weeks of talking and one date, which went very well, he suddenly stopped contacting me. After a month, he reappeared, and then went away again. Any…

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Netflix is an Option

Dear Frankly, I’m a 30-year-old divorcee, attractive, and often mistaken for being in my early 20s. I really miss having someone in my life and would love to marry again. I meet men easily, but they are interested in sex, especially when they find out that I have 3 kids. I am educated, independent and mature. I have tried meeting men at school, my job and at bars. But these have not worked for me. Do you have any suggestions as to good places to meet the kind of high quality men that I seek? Unlucky Searcher Dear Unlucky, Men…

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Preventing Premature Yoga Postures

Dear Frankly, I’m a 26 year old, successful, professional female with no children. I met the man I would like to marry last weekend at my art exhibit. We are both visual artists. We talked art and there was light flirtation (my mother was there). Parting, he took my business card and asked me to email him. I did, and asked him when his next visit to my city would be, and he quickly replied with the date he would be back in town. It’s been two days and I have not heard back from him. What should I do?…

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Weenie Wonders

Dear Frankly, I’m a 32-year-old woman who has been dating a 32-year-old man for five months who, in my opinion, would receive a very high score. He’s handsome with a great personality and mutual moral convictions. He’s marriage minded and very attentive and complimentary to me. The problem is he seems very feminine in his mannerisms. He is soft-spoken and his total demeanor at times exudes softness. He says things I don’t normally hear from a man. Should I be concerned about this? Limping into Love Dear Limping, My fourth husband was a real weenie–soft spoken wimp. He never raised…

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Missing in Action

Dear Frankly, My soon-to-be-husband called and suggested getting together. We agreed to meet at his apartment. So, I went home, rushed through my evening tasks, and went to his apartment. He was not there, so I let myself in, fed the dog and settled in. Two hours later – no boyfriend. I left a voice mail on his cell phone and went home. I have not heard from him in two days and I am boiling mad. This is the second time this has happened. What should I do? Ticked Terry Dear Ticked, Before he was my fourth husband, Frank…

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Dreaming about Ex

Dear Frankly, After an 8 year long relationship, my husband and I got a divorce. I tried giving him his space, thinking he would realize I was the one for him. He is now with one of my “close friends,” and will soon be having a baby. We didn’t have any children because we felt we weren’t ready for them yet. I have since moved away in the two years we’ve been apart. I’ve done everything I could think of to get over him, but every night I still see him in my dreams. How do I move on and…

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Jailbirds and Online Jilters

Dear Frankly, I have a brother-in-law who is constantly in trouble. His antics are even starting to affect my marriage to his sister. We get along fine until we start arguing about him. She’s the one who brings him up and I don’t want to ignore her. What should I do? Puzzled Hubby Dear Puzzled, My third husband had a younger brother that couldn’t stay out of jail. His mother kept bailing him out. He’d apologize and get everyone feeling sorry for him. Then, not a month later, he’d be right back in the slammer. My husband and I argued…

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Divorce-Say Dilemmas

Dear Frankly, I’m a separated 40-plus male “divorced” for many years in every way but legally. I posted a personal ad on a website and have been contacted by –and met–a number of women. There is one woman in particular that I am very interested in and have been spending a lot of time with. I have not told her I am still married and did not share this in my profile because I believed it would scare women away. When is the right time to come clean and admit my situation? Not Quite Divorced Dear Not Quite, My fourth…

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