More Thoughts To Ponder–Or Not!
- I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
- Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull
on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. - The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. Never take life seriously. Nobody
gets out alive anyway. - There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
- Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
- Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you see one
tumble down the stairs. - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
- Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
- Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
- In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
- Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
- Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
- Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
- Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
