February 28, 2024

Horoscopes for March 31-April 6, 2013

ARIES (March 21 – April 19)

This month, you will consider voluntarily seeking professional mental therapy. After some serious thought, an invisible giant rabbit convinces you otherwise.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)

You’ll have a bad time with friends and relatives after getting a fortune cookie that you thought said “you’re rude today” and you mistreat everyone for 24 hours.

GEMINI (May 21 -June 20)

You will need to avoid the sun, especially with this global climate change thing. You will overhear some people talking as you walk by, calling you an old raisin.

CANCER (June 21 – July 22)

This St. Patrick’s Day, you dyed yourself green, permanently. Your job in law enforcement may be over, but private investigation going green looks promising.

LEO (July 23 – August 22)

This month, you will take heed of the phrase “for every step forward, you take two steps back.” This will become even more crucial while visiting the Grand Canyon.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)

Virgos have trouble compromising, which can lead to problems in friendships, love matters and working relations. Try to get everyone to see things your way.

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)

During the beginning of the month, Jupiter would be in 9th house, Saturn in 4th house, Sun and Mars would be going over the 8th house. Party like no one’s home.

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)

Because Scorpios are not leaders, you will recognize someone with great steering qualities and follow them. Just remember to check the signs above certain doors.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)

You will be swayed by passion this month and have difficulty retaining your fidelity. Luckily, your mate is already cheating on you, so no one will really get hurt.

CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)

People will realize that you have been blessed with a strong personality, which can take you places. Unfortunately, this month it may take you to the hoosegow.

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)

This April, you will have to get serious about your diet and exercise habits. It will turn out that your wide circle of friends was really a circle of wide friends.

PISCES (February 19 – March 20)

You will continue to have a positive outlook on life, even when your ideas are shot down. This is good because every idea you have this month will be shot down.

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