November 13, 2019

First Family To Go To Moon Soon … by Blodwyn Smythe

With just days before Halloween, a month before Thanksgiving, yet still another month to go before revelers get to shout, “Merry Christmas,” becuase Americans know that wishing people “Happy Holidays” or “Peace on Earth, Good Will To Men” is totally unacceptable in the new Trumpian World, formerly the United States of America, scuttlebut is leaking from the White House that the Trumps are planning an extended vacation out of this world – the likes of which no one has ever witnessed. Someone was even rumored to have been concked on the head for writing, “Jesus is the Reason for the Season” on a plastic banner at an Arian race gathering.

People said the sign carrier was the one gang member with the GED he got in recess. It appears other skinny head party members in attendance hit him because they took offense to his use of Spanish words on sovereign ground near an Andrew Jackson statue. They were upset over the word Jesus, you know Hey Zeus. Meanwhile, the president’s recognition of Yom Kippur just slipped on by according to some high white house aide, although a call to Bibi Netanyahu discussing a takeover of the Middle East was said to have taken place.

More recently, he and some nefarious characters (Rudy Giuliani and friends) have been hunting in the Ukraine for any evidence, real or manufactured, that Joe Biden colluded with Hillary Clinton, Joe The Plumber and the leaders of Greenland to derail his 2016 presidential bid – even though he won.

He also plans on opening some really pretty coal mines once on the moon. His family, already quite familiar with shoveling dark, smelly stuff, is excited about expanding their brand and conquering new territories that have yet to establish any building restrictions or require any licenses for pillaging.

The trip to the moon is said to be provided by Near Virgin Airlines, the parent company of High Seas Happy Hos, Big Boobs Bus Line and Romper Room Railways.

For reading material on the twelve hour flight, it is believed by many that Trump will be having Ivanka read to him stories from his favorite book, DICTATORS FOR DUMMIES, PART ONE, while Junior listens to his father’s previously recorded speeches through headphones and Eric tries to solve the Rubik’s Cube he has been working on for hours, daily since age four.

Trump‘s current wife and two other children are said to be scheduled to leave on a moon shot once the other family members have set up camp, including a golf course, clubhouse and observation tower. Construction for all buildings will be built by South Americans, as there will be no border walls or visa requirements for laborers. Once construction is completed, the workers will most likely be shuttled to Mars or some other planet out of sight of the Trumps.

Scientists believe that with the Trumps gone, Earth’s air quality will almost immediately show signs of improvement. Climate Change will begin to reverse. Hope for the future of mankind just may be restored.

0.00 avg. rating (0% score) - 0 votes

Comments are closed.