February 28, 2024

Horoscopes for March 16-22, 2014

CAPRICORN (January 19 – February 16)

A bunch of planets move through Pluto, influencing you to expand your view of the world and your place in it. Unfortunately, you will also expand your waistline.

AQUARIUS (February 16 – March 11)

The celestial atmosphere encourages you to actively pursue someone altogether eligible. That’s good, because you usually pursue those altogether ineligible.

PISCES (March 20 – April 18)

You usually think you’re right, but you can be wrong, of course. Much like this astrological forecast. The month of March will the best of your entire life. Or not.

ARIES (April 18 – May 13)

The planetary aspects are encouraging you to be more disciplined in your lifestyle. Like you need planetary aspects as a sign from above to curb your enthusiasm.

TAURUS (May 13 – June21)

March may bring an encounter with someone desperate for attention who will create drama and be difficult to deal with. Be mindful of current laws and in-laws.

GEMINI (June 21 – July 20)

The celestial alignment urges you to use aromatic scents, soft lighting and wonderful food to woo your lover into a state of submission. If that fails, try booze.

CANCER (July 20 – August 10)

March will be a good time to have that talk you’ve been meaning to have about money. Specially if you got to install microwave ovens, custom kitchen deliveries.

LEO (August 10 – September 16)

This month, your obstinance and temper get you in trouble. The Moon sextiles your ruler Mercury and nobody sextiles your Mercury, not no way, not no how.

VIRGO (September 16 – October 30)

Time for a different point of view. You will like what you see when looking in the mirror this month, so much so that you will follow that carnival from city to city.

LIBRA (October 30 – November 23)

Jupiter in Aries will bolster your confidence and romance will thrive if you are prepared to experiment a little. Remember, if you’re alone, lock the door, run water.

SCORPIO (November 23 – 29)

This month, you may need to remold your reality to fit your goals and aspirations. It just might be a lot easier to remold your goals and aspirations to fit reality.

OPHIUCHUS (November 29 – December 17)

You will be forced to deal with your partner or the public in new ways. Arguing with your clothes on and completely zipped up could bring positive results.

SAGITTARIUS (December 17 – January 20)

Planets in the Cardinal Signs will create tension and stress, particularly with personal relationships. No, not the Phoenix Cardinals. didn’t you get the letter?

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