February 25, 2024

Horoscopes for October 28-November 3, 2012

ARIES (March 21 – April 19)

You will search high and low, far and wide, to join the little car driving Shriners after your mate tells you you’re never gonna do it without your fez on.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)

This October, the Sun will be changing signs and moving out of your Fifth House of Pleasure. Anyone with five houses of pleasure is out of touch anyway.

GEMINI (May 21 -June 20)

This time of year, it’s an ideal moment for you to focus on your Inner Self. Actually, if you focused on your Outer Self it could lead to a major bout of depression.

CANCER (June 21 – July 22)

You are still in the right place at the right time to have a good think about your love life. Sitting in your bed at night in front of your laptop with your inflatable mate.

LEO (July 23 – August 22)

This is your annual make-over moment – your clothes, your hairdo, your website are all prime for overhaul. When that’s done, seek out a good personality coach.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)

No one will blame you if you spend time under a blanket on the sofa with curtains drawn. They may object to what else is under the blanket and what you do with it.

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)

Connect with people in an “I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine” kind of way in October. Just beware of those people with really long, sharp finger nails.

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)

In the near future the Sun will move into the part of your chart where it’s all about parties and having fun. Later it will all be about vomiting and killer headaches.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)

Sex and money and money and sex – are you getting enough of either? If not, you may want to spend this month finding a legal way to try to combine the two.

CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)

You will be reminded of that old adage: If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. Take risks. Try a sugar-free cookie.

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)

This month the skies suggest that the main thing you need to be doing is looking for ways to expand your consciousness. I don’t think portabellas will do it.

PISCES (February 19 – March 20)

The Sun is now moving into the part of your chart known as your Wishing Zone. Of course, most topics are in your Wishing Zone. It’s just now the Sun’s there.

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