January 18, 2019

Tell-tale Expose

BEST SELLER NEWS: A new book is expected out before elections, penned by “Alias.” The tell-tale expose on many current high profile national politicians, many up for reelection, could very well affect the outcome. Titled, “It Takes an Idiot . . . to Raze a Village,” should both enlighten and entertain America’s voters.

EDUCATION NEWS: Arizona has become known as a national leader in school choice with open enrollment and providing charter schools as an alternative to the public school system. As a result, Arizona is now ahead of Mississippi in student performance.

SCIENCE NEWS: There is a theory which states that if someone discovers exactly how the universe formed and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory that this has already happened.

HIGH CRIMES NEWS: A sign featuring a giant wiener was stolen from the Ebenezer Grill in Rock Hill, South Carolina. Police believe the suspects should be easy to spot because, as police Lt. Jerry Waldrop said, “It’s tough to hide a 10-foot wiener.” Owner, Loyd Ardey, is thinking of offering a reward, but isn’t sure if he should give out money or hot dogs. “I just want my weenie back,” he said.

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