February 27, 2024

Terrorism Creativity

TERRORISM CREATIVITY NEWS: The┬áchairman of the Judiciary subcommittee on terrorism, technology and homeland security, said that terrorists could unleash electromagnetic bombs that would damage our vital electrical systems. He warned that an e-bomb attack could devastate the nation. This warning will create a nation of chaos with massive panic among Americans unless they realize that terrorists can’t create imaginary weapons as fast as we can create imaginary defenses against them.

EDUCATION NEWS: Students at an Ivy League university were asked to write an essay that contained four subjects: religion, royalty, sex and mystery. The student who got an A+ wrote the following: “My God,” said the Queen, “I’m pregnant. Who did it?”

YOUTH NEWS: One of the great things about our kids is that when you stop and talk with them, they don’t pull out pictures of their parents.

ARIZONA EDUCATION NEWS: As a result of the improvements in school performance brought about by the Students First program and the AIMS tests, an astonishing fifty percent of the students in Arizona have performed better than the other half.

BALLISTIC MISSILE NEWS: A second testing of an interceptor missile by the Defense department from its silo in Fort Greely, Arkansas has failed. The missile failed to deploy, again, costing American taxpayers millions of dollars. Asked if this latest failure would doom the program, a spokesman for the Missile Defense Agency said, “Hell no. It’s already working. Our goal is to keep America safe. Since the failure of the first test there has been a missile attack on these United states.”

BAD BREATH NEWS: A woman from Adrian, Michigan who pleaded guilty to driving while drunk on three glasses of Listerine was sentenced Tuesday to two years of probation and a year of flossing. According to Listerine manufacturer Pfizer Inc.’s Web site, original formula Listerine contains 26.9 percent alcohol, more than four times that of many malt liquors.

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